The Eve of 51

Just writing the title made me burst into tears.  Not for growing older...I'm thankful for every day in this lifetime.  Not for physically feeling much older than I am, though I have shed too many tears pondering that truth.  Not for fading looks, because I now know that how someone looks is the most insignificant thing about him/her.  I'm sad because I look back on the 51 years I've lived and my life has fallen so short of what I thought it may be.  What have I done that's mattered?  What have I done to make this world a better place?   Why didn't I realize so much sooner what I wanted to become, and set about becoming it?   The question that sums all my feelings up is, "Is this all there is?"   By asking this question, I'm not implying that I'm unhappy (I'm not), have a bad life (I don't), or lacking for anything (I'm not).  I know I'm blessed and fortunate to have the life I have, and the people I have in it.  I'm thankful for that every single day.  It's very hard for me explain...but that's what I have on my mind on the eve of my 51st birthday.   XXO

And then it was Friday

I can't say that my mood has improved much, but Friday does bring a little more lightness to my being.  And I wore Jane today!  I discussed previously that once she was finished, there was just too much fabric.  So I cut the sides down and sewed the seams.  Twice.  She was still just too much, so I gave her a half circle hem (not sure at all if that's even a thing), so that at least more of my legs show.                                                      Here she was before the butchering:

And here she is now:

And here she is on me!

Still too much fabric, but she is a happy little frock, and very comfy.  

Here's hoping the hurricane winds and rains diminish, the wild fires will go out, and that each of us remember this:  Be kind to everyone, because ya never know what they are going through.  

XXO

The best thing about today is that it's almost over

I'm really not enjoying the pressure I feel to blog every day.  I shouldn't have signed up for this challenge.  It isn't my natural instinct to share every day, and since I'm trying to do that, it feels fake.  I haven't been inspired to sew or do anything creative this week.  Not that I've had much time after my medical appointments, but today I had time and just wasn't feeling it. Maybe it's because my heart is hurting for all those losing everything to hurricanes; those feeling unwelcome because of our dip shit so-called president; those feeling less than because of the same dip shit.  The whole world is a shit storm.  Just keeping it real.  And real sure sucks sometimes.

It'a a rainy Wednesday....

We've had some real downpours lately, which makes my 40 minute work commute via the interstate a real pain in the ass.  But at least my home isn't flooded and my world turned upside down, so I'm very thankful.  And Irma.....I just have no words for that.  I feel so helpless, and no amount of thoughts and prayers will ever be enough for those affected.  I have to change the subject now or I'll risk falling into that theworldissuchashitstormandwhatsthepointineventrying downward spiral.

I'm on my second glass of wine since arriving home from my podiatrist's office.  I had surgery on my right big toe in June, and the existing nail was just hanging on, so I had it removed.  The wine is insurance against feeling too much pain once the numbness wears off.  Yea, I'm a pussy, but I deal with pain each and every day, so I avoid it when possible.

My studio is upstairs, so for the second night in a row I'm not up to climbing stairs to get there. Instead, I'm cooking.  It feels like Fall here today in central NC, and I wanted something warm and comforting for dinner.  I wanted to make soup, but don't have the ingredients needed, so I'm settling for pinto beans. They're cooking in my pressure cooker as I type.  I'm having cornbread too, and had an idea to make it in my new waffle maker instead of the usual iron skillet.  I looked online, and it's a thing - there's tons of recipes out there - so I'm doing it.  Per my usual, I'm ignoring the recipes and doing my own thing, so we'll see how it goes.....I just took a break to make the waffle cornbread and it's awesome. A cornbread waffle has to cook about 3 times longer than a regular waffle if you want the outside to be crispy, but it was a breeze.

I just checked the beans...they're done, but I like to smash some of them and make the "soup" thicker, so I did that and they're now just boiling for a while, no longer pressurized.  It's gonna be a good dinner!  Hope you guys have a great evening.

I did re-work Jane last night, but I'm not really up to typing a post tonight.  I started the day off with a doctor's appointment, for my hip pain, and got a big shot in my right hip.  It all left me pretty tired and just wanting to chill, so I'll try to do an actual post tomorrow.  In the meantime, here's a pic of the latest addition to my rusty wheel collection, gifted to me from a sweet friend:

Jane is in the house! Well, sorta....

If you're wondering who Jane is, see previous post.
Well, I finished her.  No, I don't seem very excited, because I'm not.  I sewed for about 6 hours today. I tried her on and she's adorable, but it's just too much fabric on my body.  Here's the convo I had with hubby:

ME: (Modeling Jane) So what do you think?
HIM: (Looks at me more than a little weirdly) I dunno, what do you think?  (Which is code for "How stupid do you think I am")
M: I think it's way too much fabric, and makes me look like a barn
H: Yes, I agree. It makes you look pregnant.  It looks weird the way it comes off your boobs too.
M: Well, it's supposed to look that way, it's a babydoll waist (which may or may not be a real thing, but it's what popped in my head, and it's not like he knows the difference anyway)  Maybe I'll cut some of the sides off, so there isn't so much fabric.
H: Yea
M: Or maybe I'll just leave it as-is, and it will be a Sunday Artsy Dress. (He knows I sometimes like to dress weirdly when I'm in a creative mood.  Yes, more weirdly than I dress on any given day)
H: Hmmmm

So, I think I'll put a basting stitch where I think the new seam should be, and see how I like it before I cut anything off.  Perhaps I can alter it to where I look less like a barn in it, and more like...I dunno...a storage shed?
But there are some things about it I'm really pleased with! Like the way I was able to line up all the seams perfectly!  No, that doesn't happen for me all the time.  No, it doesn't bother me when it doesn't happen, but when it does, fuck yeah!!

Since there's a ton of fabric in her, there was a ton of gathers.  They aren't perfect, but I'm pretty pleased with the way they turned out:

And isn't that fabric too cute?!?  Ok, I'm outta here, I have seams and decisions to make.  

Lately I've been in a sewing frenzy, and part of the reason for that is, I've discovered Tina Givens.  I know, I'm late to the party.  Actually, I've known about her clothing for a while, but I didn't know she offered patterns of her clothing until recently, and I found that she offers a few free patterns for download on her website, www.sewtinagivens.com (I downloaded the free Bloom dress pattern, more on that one later).  I'd seen her Jane dress on Pinterest, and fell in love, but couldn't find it on her site.  Then I read that she retires patterns after they've been out for a while, so I assume Jane was retired.  But I wasn't ready to give up....so I hopped onto Ebay, entered it into search, and there was Jane!! The seller offered free shipping with a $50 order, so I asked my hubby if he would get some patterns for me for my upcoming birthday, so I got 3: Jane, Zelda, and Leola.

They're different from any other patterns I've ever used.  When I downloaded the free pattern, it printed out on 20 pages, and I had to assemble it like a puzzle and tape it together.  I wasn't expecting to have to do that with the patterns I ordered, so I was surprised when I had to cut out the various pieces and tape the pattern together.

Another difference is the way the fabric is folded before the pattern pieces are lain out on it.  The instructions were to fold it lengthwise first, then fold the width too.  This gives you 4 layers of fabric to cut at once, and once the bodice is cut, it's all one piece.  This is the instructions for Jane, and I can't speak for how the other two patterns are because I haven't cut either of them yet. Thank goodness a girlfriend was here with me when I was cutting, or I don't think I'd ever figured out how to cut the necklines!  We both were puzzled at the beginning, because in all our years of sewing we had never seen a pattern cut this way, but after it was cut, we both agreed it was ingenious; less cutting and less sewing!   So Jane is all cut out, and I'm going to spend the day tomorrow - Labor Day - sewing her together.  Here's a shot of my sewing room:

It's messy, but I love it! Hope you have a great Labor Day!