oh johnny....

johnny_depp
Originally uploaded by stylinbabe1

Damn! It just doesn't get any better than this....The.Sexiest.Man. EVER. This pic has been the wallpaper on my work computer for a couple of weeks now, and every morning, even Monday! it makes me smile when my computer comes on...guess you could say I get turned on when my computer gets turned on....LOL Can't wait to see his new movie, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. He's all gouled out in it but still hot hot hot IMO....mmmmm....Johnny Johnny Johnny.....

Mr. Puss

Mr. Puss 11-20-07
Originally uploaded by stylinbabe1

Playing some more with pics and had to post this cutie....plus I think I've found a way to post pics here a lot easier!

Looooong weekend

What could be better? Yesterday was exhausting but wonderful...I had 3 friends over for Thanksgiving dinner and enjoyed every minute of it/them. Me and hubby received an invitation from some other friends of ours to join them at their beach place for the remainder of the weekend but we declined. I have a lot of catching up to do on homework (school sucks!!) and I want to get most of my web site completed this weekend. Hubby is busy too, and I have another MRI scheduled for Saturday morning, so there was no question that we couldn't go. I have been playing around with photos, as you can see on my sidebar...there's no way I can sit at a computer and not play a little bit! I've been a bum in my PJs all day, but now must get in the shower and make myself presentable...it's date night! Hope you are having a peaceful holiday weekend!

I wanna run away.....

I want to grab the human I love most on this earth by the hand and escape....maybe just take a big jump into the sky and float up into the heavens, locked in an eternal kiss....a hot passionate kiss...leaving reality as we know it in our dust....

Gratitude Overflowing

One of the reasons I don't blog very often is due to the time it takes to upload pics to go along with the post. Blog entries are so much more fulfilling and interesting to readers if there is some visual candy for them as well, so I have tried to keep things interesting and add pics. I've been giving this a lot of thought though, and have concluded that writing in this blog is as much, if not more, for me than for any readers who stop by. Writing is so therapeutic for me...if I have something on my mind or in my heart, it is a tremendous help for me to get it out by writing it. I have a word document at work that I open from time to time and just type sentences, or paragraphs, or sometimes even just words...when I give my feelings an outlet, it soothes me. This is not only true of sad or troubling emotions, but joyful ones as well. I have to get them out, they have to released. So I have decided to post more often, and not be concerned with whether or not I have an interesting pic to share. That's not to say I wont ever share a pic because I will, but I wanted to let my little handful of readers know that there wont be a pic with every entry. Ok, now that the "business" has been discussed, on to the reason for this post. Gratitude--oh, I am feeling so much gratitude this morning! Those of you who know me know that I live for the weekends to sleep late...I love-love-love to sleep in. But today, this chilly Saturday morning, I didn't sleep as late as usual. It's only 10 AM as I write this, and I've already had 2 cups of coffee and am about to start on my homework! But oh yea, back to gratitude. I know I am blessed for many reasons, but the source of this feeling today is my friends...my wonderful, amazing friends!! Last night I had dinner with a new friend, who I already feel like i've known forever (hi Emanuel!). This morning I have spoken to Mia on the phone, and have recieved emails from Kathy and Louie, and sent an email to Ellen....and I am just bursting with the joy that having these oh-so-precious friends bring me. And it doesn't stop there--there are many more of you, and you know who you are!--friends that I love just as dearly, but this is just a sampling of those I've communicated with today. So let me say THANK YOU to all of my friends, near and far, who bring so much joy to this lifetime, and who also help me through the times when joy seems to be at a minimum. Namaste!

First day of Autumn

I have been a very bad blogger. I think it’s ok for a blogger to be away unannounced for say, a week, but not this long. I just simply haven’t felt like sharing anything with anyone, and there are many reasons for this. I have been a little disheartened in the recent past by some goings-on at other blogs--discussion having to do with stealing designs and original ideas and all that goes along with that sort of thing. I mean really, original ideas are few and far between, and even though we may think an idea is ours, chances are it’s been done. We are exposed to so much these days, and images that we don’t even think we pay attention to are bound to be absorbed into us at some level, so who are we to say anything is “ours”? These “discussions” had absolutely nothing to do with me, but the issue has gotten under my skin for some reason, and put a damper on the enthusiasm I have felt over blogging in general. I have also been struggling with my own inner demon…ANGER. Why do I have so much anger inside me? It comes out in waves that knock me down and take away all reason and logic. At those times I have the ugliest thoughts and say the ugliest things, and have feelings toward people and things that leave me feeling ashamed and small and pathetic. I want to believe that the thoughts I have and the actions I take during those times are not the real me, but I’m afraid it is. I know I have a good heart, and I have a lot of love and light to share with those I choose to share it with. But that’s only part of me, and, I’m beginning to think, a very small part of me. I’m afraid the ugly, angry demon part is the strongest, and is winning. LOL…for those of you who watch Heros, sounds like Nicki/Jessica, doesn’t it? So anyway, I’m trying to explore this dark side and understand it and find ways to keep it in check. I have days that I am very successful, and others....not so much. Late last week I started feeling strongly that I wanted/needed a Buddha for my garden. So on Saturday I went to a yard art place and found the perfect one for me. Isn’t he beautiful? He looks like he belongs in that spot, don’t cha think? An immediate feeling of peacefulness comes over me when I look at him. I think it brings to mind the Buddhist philosophy of detachment, and letting things go. When I feel anger rising up, it helps to step back and detach myself from whatever has triggered it. My higher self knew how helpful the Buddha would be to me, and I am so glad I tuned in and listened. I am planning on framing a small pic of him to keep on my desk at work....which, next to driving, is the number one place I need to practice detachment. On a lighter note, I decided very last minute to go back to school this semester, and barely had enough time to register before classes started. The curriculum I am studying is Web Technology; with the goal of getting out of the “administrative assistant” field once and for all. I have two classes, both online. This is the first time I have taken online classes and I love it, and I’m hoping most of the classes are going to be in this format. I am doing really well so far, and that makes me feel more confident and all that jazz, which is always a good thing, And although I detest my job, I am going to try to hang in there until I finish school because really, would doing essentially the same thing at a different place be all that better? Maybe, but probably not. However, I am keeping my eyes and ears open and if any opps come my way, I will be open to them! And lastly, I will be having surgery on 10/5...nothing too major, but I will be off work for a few days recuperating. I’ve never looked forward to surgery so much in my life! Oh, and happy Fall!! <>

Blue Monday

I found this image on Flickr ( http://www.flickr.com/photos/socialenigma11/384849717/) and I hope the person it belongs to wont mind me using it here. It goes along so perfectly with how I have been feeling lately....sad, parched, lonely, frustrated, jealous, and yes, heartbroken. There are lots of things causing all these feelings to surface, but the two most recent have pushed me over the edge. One friend, who after this post I will not be using that word to refer to him again, is not being honest with me about some things, and I just don't understand it. I have known for quite a while now that we really weren't friends, that it was all one-sided anyway, and this current situation is just the confirmation i needed to know once and for all that this is really the case. Reality bites. And today another friend called to tell me that he is moving away at the end of October, and while I am happy for him if this is what he wants, it makes me sad that he wont be working just around the corner anymore. Sometimes all I need is to know that a friend is just around the corner, ya know?

Writing my feelings always makes me feel better; gets them out of me and releases some of the pressure. I also just wanted to post something to let those of you who do check in from time to time know that I am still around, just going through an emotionally tough period.