Thursday, May 24, 2007

Artist Eyes

Lately I've been perceiving everything through what i've been calling my "artist's eyes". Most everything I come into contact with is sparking idea after idea, and I've never felt more creative. It's hard to explain, but I like it! Now I just need to go with it and actualy make something! I have a zillion things to do tonight to prepare for my Vegas trip, so I gotta keep it short. Today's pics are: The cover for the journal I am putting together tonight to take on my trip; my sweet little Mr Puss eating and looking through the glass door; and lastly a shot from my garden, which is a little washed out due to the way the sun was shining through the surrounding leaves. Have a FAB holiday weekend!!

Sunday, May 20, 2007


That word sums up how i've felt this inspiration, no motivation, no nothing. I intended to put a little journal together this weekend to take on my trip to Vegas next weekend, but keep getting stuck. I know what my biggest problem is: FEAR. Although I know better, I get upset when I make something I'm not happy with, and when this happens, I get in an even worse place mentally than I was when I started. Why can't I free myself from fear, and just play and create and have fun? I keep telling my inner critic to go f**k himself, but so far he hasn't listened. Are you ever held hostage by fear, and if so, how do you overcome it? I would love to hear what you have to say on this. In the meantime, I'm gonna go try to coax my inner artist out of hiding...

Thursday, May 17, 2007

I scored!

I know a lot of you reading this can relate....I was driving through the neighborhood on my way home for lunch and noticed a big pile of stuff by the curb that someone had put out for the garbage collectors. I always slow down to take in these heaps of potential to see if there is something I need to rescue. Today nothing jumped out at me, but there was a door with a ripped screen in it standing up by the garbage can. I continued on home but it dawned on me that I could cut the screen out of it's frame easily with my exacto knife and just leave the frame there to be picked up, and that's exactly what I did! What a rush! The screen has tons of potential uses, I got it free, and I kept a little something from going to the landfill! YEAH! Here are some pics of what I discovered on my deck this past Saturday. Click on the images to make them bigger. I told Mr. Snake he could live peacefully under my deck if he didn't harm the far he has kept his end of the deal.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

The weekend is here!

Oh, how I live for's sad really, that the other 5 days of the week are spent wishing for the all important 2 days to get here. I try not to wish them away, but always end up doing so. I love getting up when I want to get up, being able to lounge around gazing out at my garden with a cup of coffee, no rushing at all to be anywhere or do anything. I like having a whole day before me to do what I want to do, not what someone else dictates I have to do....ahhh, maybe tonight's the night I win the lottery!! Then my days will be filled with artistic pursuits and runaway creativity.....Those of you who are able to live your life day in and day out doing what you truly want to be doing are so lucky, and don't ever forget how blessed you are!! I have started to rearrange my studio (aka the guest room I took over!) to make more space for storage. My workspace is always so piled up that I can't find a clear space to work, so my goal is to create more storage space so things can easily be put in their place and not accumulate on my work surface. I hope to have this project completed by Sunday night. Today I am also going to play with the techniques I learned in Traci Bautista's class, with the goal of creating a manilla folder booklet like she demonstrated in class. I am going to Vegas in a couple of weeks and thought that would be a lighweight alterantive to a journal to take with me, and it will have pockets to store any ephemera I happen to come across while there. Here are pics of a few of the altered "doodads" from Art & Soul....they were simpy amazing. I don't know which one ended up winning....if anyone knows, leave a comment! Have a fabulous weekend!!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

A disappointing day

Oh, where do I begin? I woke up feeling good and looking forward to the day. I was to meet my friend Imran for lunch and my friend Debbie later tonight at the Barnes & Noble cafe to hang out and catch up. Then I learn from hubby that he thinks our air conditioning unit isn't blowing out cool air as it should, but he's got too much on his plate right now so can I deal with it? He started a new job on Monday...more on that later. So of course I say I will take care of it. I called the heat & air place first thing, and they have a guy in the area who can come to my house late morning, and will call me when he's on his way so I can leave work and meet him. My boss had a meeting today at 1:00, so I knew I had to be back at work by then, because there are only 3 of us in the office and the other person went home sick. That means meeting the heat & air person is going to be my lunchtime. They called at 11:00 to say the guy is on his way. On my way home Imran called to finalize our lunch plans, so I told him what was going on and we decided that it would take him at least 30 minutes to get to me, so it would be better to reschedule. So that was disappointment #1. Now, about hubby's new's a great opportunity for him, but the company is in a transition stage, so long hours are going to be required for the forseeable future. I understand that and I accept that. What I can't accept is going all day without getting so much as an email from him, let alone a phone call. He told me this morning he would call if he could, but I didn't think about him not being able to. I knew he was working with someone today to learn more about things, but didn't he take a lunch break? Didn't the guy he was working with go pee at some point? So all day, no word from him at all. Not even to check progress on the condition of the air conditioner, which is fine by the way. I am hurt deeply by this. Disappointment # 2. So after work I come home and freshen up, then go to Target for new filters for the AC unit, then to B&N to meet Deb. Although that was the highlight of my day, it was also disaappointment # 3. Without broadcasting too much of Deb's business on the WWW, I will say she is having some health issues. And today she looked so tired and worn out that it made my heart ache. So we didn't get to spend much time together, and that, combined with seeing her so fatigued, was a real bummer. I love her so much and I want to do something, anything, to help in some way, but I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. So I came home. Meanwhile hubby had tried to get me 3 times on my cell....well, would you have answered?? I sure as hell didn't!! So we had words when I got home, and now here I am writing this while wiping away tears. Oh, I'll be ok. Check out these pics of more fabric collages from Leslie Riley's class. I’m gonna go have a beer mug full of wine…..

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Happy hump day

Today was a much better day than yesterday, and I can think of 2 possible reasons why: first, I slept better last night and therefore felt more energized today, and second, I think it was good for me to get everything out by writing about my emotional state in yesterday's post. There have been nights that I have had something on my mind and just can't rest until I get up and write it down--just get it out of me. So I know how therapeautic blogging is going to be for me. Here are a few pics of some of the fabulous works that came out of the class I had with Leslie Riley at Art & Soul. Notice how the clothing is pleated and all the other details on the figures, although my picture-taking skills do not do them justice. I have others to show you, so just keep tuning in!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Out of steam

Going back to work the day after I got home from Art & Soul was a very bad decision. I feel like I have been run over with a steamroller, both physically and mentally. I like to have time to process things, and being thrust back into "normalcy" so soon after an event like A&S without having some down time to relive, rehash, and fully absorb it all frustrates me to no end, only adding to my exhaustion. I was only there for 3 days, and I can't imagine how those who were present for the whole event must be feeling, especially the teachers. And speaking of teachers...I met NINA!! Guess you figured that out from the pic. I wasn't able to take a class of hers, but made a beeline to her table on vendor night as soon as the doors opened. I was hoping to get to her before the crowds descended, but she was already getting so busy, so we chatted a moment, then later I came back by to visit once more before I left. I wanted to get her picture, but she was so wonderful and suggested we both get in the pic. I just wanted to pull her away and go someplace quiet where we could put our feet up with a BIG glass of wine and's so funny, because I feel like i've known her my whole life. I felt like that even before we met, and I feel it even more strongly now. I wont even attempt to explain further, because I know I can't do the feeling justice, but it's a feeling straight from my SOUL. Now to the rest of the first class was with Leslie Riley (with me in the other pic). WOW...another amazing lady and a great teacher. In her class (Fragments/Story Fragments) on Saturday, I was relaxed and felt free to play and let my creativity flow. I enjoyed every minute of it, which was not to be the case in my other two classes (though no fault of the teachers). There was some incredible pieces made in that class, and I have pictures that I will post in the next few days. I didn't finish my piece, but plan on doing so soon, and will post a pic of it at that time. Sunday I had Traci Bautista's doodles.layers.monoprints class. The best thing to come from that class was meeting a new friend--hi Ellen! She really made the day for me. The class was fast-paced and absolutely running over with techniques, which is a great thing. But by about 3 in the afternoon I was on overload. I couldn't remember what I had learned that morning, or even the techniques in Traci's latest demo. I was getting frustrated, and just wanted to stop. I needed absorb time. But somehow I managed to get through the rest of the afternoon (thanks again Ellen!). Thank goodness I have Traci's book, because right now I am still drawing a blank when I think about that class. Then on Monday was Michael deMeng's Voodoo Doodad Dolls. At certain moments throughout my time at A&S I knew I was in the presence of greatness, and it was never truer than when I was with Michael. I was star-struck, and actually had trouble speaking the first time I opened my mouth to talk to him. I got over that for the most part, though when I left and was telling him goodbye, I teared up and almost cried, so I can just imagine the impression I left on him!! But in my defense I must say that by that time I was worn out, my mind was racing with ideas, and my emotions were running wild. I was sad at leaving A&S (I actually left Michael's class an hour early because I was anxious about driving home), but was also feeling so inadequate, for lack of a better word. I was very dissatisfied with my Doodad doll, while several people in the class made stunning pieces. I have been working for a long time at not being so hard on myself, but that day I just couldn't quiet those inner voices. The reasons I didn't have a good experience on Monday were due to my own inner workings, and certainly had nothing to do with Michael, because he is brilliant. His knowledge of paint and color is astounding, and he is a wonderful person and teacher. He helped me so much throughout the day, and I wish I had been in a better place mentally to take better advantage of the opportunity. I didn't finish that project either, but have lots of ideas for it, and will post a pic when I'm finished, no matter how unhappy with it I may be! Did I mention that Linda and Opie O'Brien were in Michael's class too?! Talk about brushes with greatness! And speaking of greatness, I was also able to meet Jane of Random Arts on vendor night. As with Nina, I would have loved to have had more time to chat, but Jane's booth was a mob scene because of all the cool stuff they had to offer (and rest assured I snagged some of it while I was there!). But I plan on taking a ride to Saluda sometime in the not so distant future for a proper visit. I will definitely attend Art & Soul again; not only for the practical knowledge to be gained and the chance to be surrounded by my "people", but also for the opportunity it gives me to grow in ways not so easily defined.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Fun-filled week

Whew! It's Thursday already! This week has flown by. Tuesday night out with friends to celebrate hubby's birthday was a fabulous time. There were 10 of us all together and we were definitely the loudest table in the restaurant. Last night at my book group meeting was another great time. The discussions are so interesting there that it never fails to amaze me. And tomorrow at 2 pm I leave work early to head to Hampton VA for Art & Soul!!!! I am packed except for the things I will need in the morning, and that sure is a good feeling. I am a little bit nervous about traveling alone because I am terrible at finding my way. I am also nervous about how I am going to interact with everyone, because I am very moody and when I am in certain moods I tend to shut down and shut people out. I want to be in the mood I am in today--very bubbly, very talkative, and very positive. I will be so excited over just being there that I probably wont have anything to worry about. This is a big step for me as far as getting outside my norm and doing something I've never done before, because I've never been to an art retreat, and I've never taken a road trip of this distance to an unknown area by myself. I will be wearing the big girl panties tomorrow for sure! I get home late Monday night, so my next post will most likely be Tuesday night. I will try to take lots of pictures and give a full report. I can't wait to meet Nina Bagley!!

The Eve of 51

Just writing the title made me burst into tears.  Not for growing older...I'm thankful for every day in this lifetime.  Not for physical...